I thought it was going pretty good until the part where her parents are watching her leave. They didn't care enough to do that, which was the main reason why she was a prime target for the Beldame. It might have looked better if the ghosts were more human like, but moved too quick to distinguish as individuals. Then there is the three green eyes, which I thought was Wybie, until I saw a camera like thing come out of a log (too small for any child, and so NOT Wybie). Also, it is a good idea to add a small hint of the Other Mother, but instead of showing her needle-hand grabbing the doll out of thin air, maybe an above-shot of it on an old desk. She reaches over (hidden off screen) with needle-hand, and drags it off, leaving scratch marks in the wood. I would have left off the unraveling scenery all together, as it feels like you are giving too much away. For the intro, you want to give them just enough to hook them in and get them interested, not a visual summary of the story. I hope this helps. Good start, good start! :)